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"Certain people are more likely to cheat because of personality traits, learned behavior from role models and due to money, career, social status and the social circles they travel in," psychotherapist and relationship coach Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC tells Bustle.
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Although you can't always predict when someone is going to be unfaithful, it can be useful to know what to look out for when dating someone to ensure you're in a loving, committed relationship. However, there are a number of factors that make someone more likely to cheat in a relationship according to experts and research.
#One thing all cheaters have in common professional
If the partner continues to micro-cheat or refuses to discuss the topic with you, then it might be worthwhile to seek professional counseling.” After all, if you don’t have a partner that isn’t honest and doesn’t respect your feelings and boundaries, your issues might be more macro than micro.Most people don't suspect that their partner is going to cheat on them - after all, there's no one obvious indicator of a cheater. “When partners rationalize their micro-cheating, it should come as a warning sign that they are insensitive to your needs and well-being. If you can eliminate the lies and secrets, the relationship gets much stronger.”Īnd if your partner doesn’t own up, you have to stand up for yourself and what you find acceptable, says Tashiro. Remember, with infidelity, it’s not the specific behavior, it’s the lying and secrets that drive a couple apart. The more open and honest a couple is, the more intimacy they have. Open, honest, non-reactive communication is the key to healthy intimacy. And better communication can occur with or without therapeutic assistance. So how should a couple best deal with micro-cheating? Be honest and straightforward, says Weiss: “Micro-cheating isn’t necessarily a sign of anything except maybe that a couple needs to do a better job of communicating.
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“For instance, some couples would think that flirting is OK, some couples would call it micro-cheating, and others would call it full-blown infidelity.” Cheating, micro or otherwise, is less about the particular behavior, and more about the keeping of secrets and the impact of those secrets when uncovered,” says Weiss. “Different behaviors might be infidelity for one couple, micro-cheating for another couple, and not a problem at all for another couple. Robert Weiss, LCSW, CSAT and CEO of Seeking Integrity, an online community that addresses behavioral health challenges, says the difference between micro-cheating and full-on infidelity is better defined by how much your secret interactions might affect your partner when he or she finds out. “When one betrays a partner’s trust there are always emotional consequences for the partner’s well-being and the integrity of the relationship.” The damage lies in the deception “Though micro-cheating does not involve physical contact with someone outside the committed relationship, it’s important to avoid the temptation to overemphasize the ‘micro’ part of the phrase and remember that ‘cheating’ is the operative word,” he says. Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of " The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love", defines micro-cheating as “a relatively small act of emotional infidelity with someone outside of a person's committed relationship” that mostly occurs through occurs through apps, texting, or online interactions.īut is micro-cheating, cheating? Tashiro believes so.
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